Love Every Note

There are a few things that have been running around in my head this past week, but this idea of loving every note has been on my brain a lot. I didn't come up with it, but was told by the lovely, Ms. Gail Dubinbaum, that if I didn't love every note of a song, I needed to sit with it and figure it out until I did. That really spoke to me with a lot of the new repretoire I'm learning. I don't like singing a lot of different things. I have my favorites that I like to practice and tend to avoid those songs that are difficult or that I have difficulty connecting with, dare I just say it....Mozart! How do I love every note? As I think this through, I have picked a song which I LOVE to sing. I love it from beginning to end because not only do all of the notes finally sit in my voice properly, but this song moves me from beginning to end. It's not one of the more popular ones in my hat, but that doesn't matter. Now, how did I come to love this so much? First, this was a song that I translated before even learning all of the notes. This is something I highly recommend and am working on doing more consistently. If I memorize a song with just sounds, it means nothing. If I memorize a song where I understand each word, then I memorize the feel and the intent at the same time and do not have to go back later to remember which words carry the most impact. Second, I try to put myself in the mindset of the character. What has this person gone through? Why do they have to sing this song? Where does this song take them? Why did the composer choose this note to write in any particular spot. Each note is important. I watched a documentary on Verdi a few years ago and one thing in particular that stuck with me was how adament he was that things be as simple and as stripped down as possible. He didn't want anything extra in the music that didn't need to be there. That means that every single note he wrote was intentional. I need to sing each one this way because the character needs each note to develop herself in the way the composer intended. Third, this song is one that I have listened to and watched numerous people perform. Listening and watching are two separate practices. I like to start listening without sight first. I want to hear the performer's intent. I want to feel what they are feeling through the sound. I try to pick up on the smallest things that they are communicating. Next, I will watch people. I try to see the things that people do consistently across the board in terms of gestures. What works, what translates as believeable. Who looks "manufactured." Do the actions of the singers match what I heard in their voices? This is really imporant to me. If they don't, then I find someone else to watch. By this time, I've already done what I feel naturally in the music as my own character. I try to see if things line up with what the "greats" did or are doing. I look to see if I can improve what they do. I look to see if I am doing those things that make me uncomfortable when I watch others. And then, I write them down in my music. I try to memorize and sing things the same until they feel natural and the thought process can be that of the character and no longer the music, until the music is the feeling of my intent exactly. This all translates to performance. If I am doing these things consistently in practice, then when I perform, I will be confident in my ability. I walk on the stage as myself, who I am, and then become the character. I leave the stage as myself, fully confident that I played this character to the best of my ability. If I do not love every note though, that is going to translate in not just my delivery, but how I carry myself on and off of the stage. Because this business is highly-competitive, I believe that every moment that I am visible counts. I believe that I must be my absolute best each second that I am around my audience. There is no room to do-over. There is no room to stop and start your music again. There is no way to enter with 100% confidence after singing your very best if you weren't sure you were going to. You have to know. You have to love each note.